


Do you feel the way I do right now?

by Fangirlshrewt97



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Whump, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 20:29:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21003710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlshrewt97/pseuds/Fangirlshrewt97
Summary: When a mission goes wrong and has Eggsy waking up in a medical room in the Kingsman mansion with only Harry beside him, revelations come to life, and confessions are admitted.I promise the story is decent even if the summary is vague.Whumptober prompt - Tear-stained





	Do you feel the way I do right now?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi readers,
> 
> So this story actually started out as something different and evolved into this, so I hope it still makes sense. I didn't have a beta, so all mistakes are my own. If there is anything really glaring, please let me know and I'll fix it.
> 
> Title is from "Distance" by Chritina Perri
> 
> None of these characters are mine, I'm just borrowing them.
> 
> If you like the story, let me know with kudos and/or comments!
> 
> Thanks
> 
> Fangirlshrewt97

Eggsy stirred slowly, groaning as what felt like the biggest hangover he had ever had made itself known. Blinking fast and squinting, Eggsy managed to pry open an eyelid, and winced immediately at the brightness of the room. Squeezing his eyes, Eggsy gathered all his energy and opened his eyes, keeping them open long enough to adjust to the room he saw wasn’t actually that bright, despite the tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. The room was a standard room in the medical ward of the Kingsman mansion, furbished minimally, with just the necessary medical equipment and a chair for a guest to sit it.

Eggsy turned his head and made a small noise of surprise when he saw Harry slumped over next to him, arms on the bed, and glasses crooked, as though he had not meant to fall asleep. He tried to speak, but his throat felt drier than a desert, leading him to cough. That was enough to bring Harry back from his sleep though. Harry jerked back to sit straight in his chair before his eyes widened when he saw Eggsy was awake. He immediately grabbed the jug of water by the bedside table and poured a glass, bringing it to Eggsy’s lips. One hand grabbed the back of Eggsy’s head, helping him tilt it enough to drink without spilling on himself. When Eggsy made an aborted movement, Harry put the glass back to the side table.

If Eggsy didn’t know better, he would say the constantly poised and elegant Harry Hart was standing looking awkwardly at him. “’arry? Wha’ happuned?” Eggsy said, his accent coming back in full force.

“My dear boy, I’m afraid our target slipped you a sample from his newest batch of designer drugs. I was able to get us both out of there fast enough that he couldn’t send people after us, but I will admit, I was worried that I was far too late.”

Eggsy absorbed the information, brain still a little fuzzy, before he felt the familiar guilt settle in his stomach. Harry instantly spotted the expression though and stepped closer, laying a tentative arm on top of his forearm. “What are you thinking Eggsy?”

Honestly, Eggsy was just thinking about how nice Harry’s arm felt on his, and wondering if he would feel as warm everywhere on his body. But he couldn’t say that, so he said the truth instead. “I messed up the mission. You said you had to get us out of there fast, which means our covers were either blown or useless enough. And it means that Whitford will now be on his guard enough that trying to get to him again will be close to impossible.”

Harry sighed but didn’t offer a contradiction, because Eggsy was right. “While you are correct that it will take us some time to get to Whitford, now that we know some more about his modus operandi, we might be able to extrapolate from that and uncover another chain in his operation to exploit. But Eggsy, if I had to do it again, I would in a heartbeat.”

Eggsy’s head snapped from where they had been trying to bore holes through his hands to meet Harry’s eyes, mouth open in surprise. “What?”

“Don’t misunderstand me. I am furious with you for acting so recklessly on a mission, not informing me about your plan to go to the target alone, compromising our covers, and delaying the bigger goal. I am disappointed that you couldn’t trust me enough to ask for back up. And I am sorry for whatever I did that has made you so obviously angry at me, it was unfair of me to let you think that I was dead for so long, but please understand me when I say I did it as much for you as for me.”

Eggsy still looked too stunned to react, so Harry exhaled heavily and dropped to the chair he had previously been occupying. The action caused him to retract his arm from Eggsy’s and both felt a sharp spike of loss. “I don- I - What are you trying to say Harry?” Eggsy finally said, voice sounding so small and vulnerable, Harry wanted to bundle him up in blankets and tuck him away from the world.

“Eggsy, when I woke up after almost dying from Valentine’s shot, my very first thought was that about you. I thought, God I hope Eggsy is not sad. I am an old man Eggsy, I have lived my life alone, I never had any siblings, and before Kingsman, I thought my life involved getting involved in the stock market, earning even more money, marrying some nice woman, having a kid or two, and dying. After joining Kingsman, I was so sure that I would go out in a blaze of glory, and threw myself to the job, cutting off every tie I had outside of this place. You were the first person I let into my home, the first person I invited to see me in so many decades, and for once I wasn’t afraid because you felt safe. And then I sent you away after that stupid test, and got myself shot. I woke up from death’s doorstep, and my biggest regret was not telling you what I really thought of you.”

Eggsy felt like his lungs weren’t working properly, or his ears. Breathing was a task and everything but Harry had faded to white noise. “What do you think of me?”

Harry looked up at him, eyes open and honest for once, filled with such sadness Eggsy felt his heart clench painfully in his chest. “I thought that for whatever years I have left in my life, if I could spend them with you in my life, I could die a happy man. I thought I couldn’t have picked a worse person to lose my heart to, nor a better person. Most of all, I thought I loved you so much, and you were perfect, that you deserved the world, not a broken, old man.”

“You’re wrong.”

Harry startled out of his reverie. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re wrong. I am not perfect, and I don’t know what I deserve or not, but I know that I have loved you for such a long time now, I can’t even remember when I fell for you. Maybe when you told me I could do something useful with my life, maybe when you laid waste to Dean and his sidekicks. I thought it was pointless because you are so much better than me in every way, that we come from such separate worlds, how could I possibly be foolish enough to think you would look at me twice. But you sent me away, and I felt like I had lost the last person in the world who had believed I was worth something. And then, I did lose you, and I thought I was going to die because how can a person live with so much heartache? You came back though, and you acted like everything was fine, as if you hadn’t shattered my world, as if you hadn’t __died-__” Eggsy’s voice broke off as he cried, a sob choking out the words. Strong arms suddenly embraced him, and Eggsy cried harder, curling his hands into those familiar suit lapels as he was surrounded by the scent he had come to associate with safety and home.

“Oh __dearheart__.” Harry said as he gently put two fingers under Eggsy’s chin and tilted his head up. Harry’s own eyes were glistening with unshed tears. “Eggsy, if I may be so forward, can I kiss you?”

Eggsy choked on a cry again, nodding his head softly. Slowly, Harry lowered himself enough till their lips were a hairs breath away. Glancing one last time at Eggsy’s eyes, Harry closed his eyes and pressed in. Eggsy muffled a moan as he felt tears starting to run again. They stayed like that for what felt like a second and an eternity, breaking apart and gulping breaths as though they had run a marathon. Eggsy’s cheeks were tear-stained but his eyes were nearly glowing with happiness, and Harry found that he would spend whatever time he had left on this earth making sure that glow never faded.

“I love you too Harry.” And oh those words made Harry’s chest feel like he could fly.

Harry kissed Eggsy again, cradling his head more firmly, deeper but still just a press of lips against lips.

“Promise you won’t leave me again?” Eggsy asked, voice the same previous tone of vulnerable, and Harry’s heart ached at the thought of the pain he had caused the love of his life in the name of trying to supposedly protect him.

“I promise on everything I can that nothing short of death will ever pull me from your side again dearheart.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat with me elsewhere, find me at fangirlshrewt97.tumblr.com


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